• THE ART OF THIRD WHEELING: LEARN FROM THE BEST •

• THE ART OF THIRD WHEELING: LEARN FROM THE BEST •

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I am a well known third wheel on the bike of friendship. I am deadwood or whatever you like to call the unfortunate person who is always left alone trying to entertain themselves whilst a couple 'canoodle' next to them. Yes, that person is always me.

You see, my best friend (let's call her B) and I very much keep to ourselves. We only really count on each other. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have other friends, but none that I really feel comfortable enough to surround myself with in certain situations as to who is in their social group. Being in my last year of high school, my breaks and lunch consist of "prefect duty" which means standing in the corridor of the Art/Music block and constantly asking the younger of the school to took their shirts in. Being as endlessly boring as it is, it's much easier to cope with when you have your best friend to talk to. However, since she got her new boyfriend (let's call him A), he is always there. He's a really nice guy but as the best friend, I'm allowed to complain that sometimes it's a bit ridiculous that he has to be there all of the time, right?

I was invited to a New Year's party too and I was so excited - until I found out I was only invited as a resource so that B would go for A. I'm not saying I don't want her to be in a relationship though, I'm merely making an observation that I am always the odd one out, even with people I barely know. So, what's wrong with me? Am I weird? Am I destined to cling to other people's friendships whilst they try to move on? Am I just annoying? These are the questions I ask myself almost everyday because of it.

It's not just my best friend and her relationships that I third wheel with though. I find myself the odd one out with everyone of late and whenever I'm talking to someone, their other half will come along and I will be left fiddling with my thumbs. When you hang around the budding couple long enough, and it becomes official, you are then faced with the awkward conversation of "But nothing has changed. We really want to include you". Nothing has changed (pardon my french!) my arse. The games of tongue twister aren't new? Or the long, gazing looks the couple share are just old news? Nope nope nopetity nope.

 So, I've drawn up a survival kit for anyone else on the planet who may be as unfortunate as me to have landed the 'hey-I-am-a-third-wheel' sort of appearance:




Headphones are key. They're having a couple conversation? Headphones. They're kissing AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE? Headphones. They're somehow doing both of the latter but you're phone is out of charge so you have no music? Headphones! (As least you'll look less awkward!)




If you are lucky enough to not have lost your phone to the devil of a dead battery then you may proceed to use it as you may. Check the latest twitter updates, or instagram a selfie with the hashtag #rockinatthirdwheeling! Or just text a friend. Just look busy and try to find a distraction so that you won't collapse of boredom (although, this would mean you were no longer third wheeling as everyone rushes to your attention...)!




Keep the conversation flowing for as long as possible. If they're sharing jokes and you're sat there silently praying to the God you can't see, ask them their opinion on a topic that can spark conversation. Even ask about them as a couple, anything to get them talking and not swapping saliva right?!




If step 3 is hopeless, step away. Don't get too close as you don't know what to expect. As they smooch away, try step 1 and 2 from a considerable distance.




If you can take anything away from the experience then it's knowledge. I'm not saying gawk at them as they kiss or get too touchy feely BUT this couple will probably show you a lot about the DO's and DON'Ts of relationships. Use this to your advantage!

So, I hope the steps above help you to adjust a bit better to your "three's NOT a crowd" lifestyle. I know I'll be thinking of them next time!




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Tuesday 30 December 2014

• THE ART OF THIRD WHEELING: LEARN FROM THE BEST •


I am a well known third wheel on the bike of friendship. I am deadwood or whatever you like to call the unfortunate person who is always left alone trying to entertain themselves whilst a couple 'canoodle' next to them. Yes, that person is always me.

You see, my best friend (let's call her B) and I very much keep to ourselves. We only really count on each other. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have other friends, but none that I really feel comfortable enough to surround myself with in certain situations as to who is in their social group. Being in my last year of high school, my breaks and lunch consist of "prefect duty" which means standing in the corridor of the Art/Music block and constantly asking the younger of the school to took their shirts in. Being as endlessly boring as it is, it's much easier to cope with when you have your best friend to talk to. However, since she got her new boyfriend (let's call him A), he is always there. He's a really nice guy but as the best friend, I'm allowed to complain that sometimes it's a bit ridiculous that he has to be there all of the time, right?

I was invited to a New Year's party too and I was so excited - until I found out I was only invited as a resource so that B would go for A. I'm not saying I don't want her to be in a relationship though, I'm merely making an observation that I am always the odd one out, even with people I barely know. So, what's wrong with me? Am I weird? Am I destined to cling to other people's friendships whilst they try to move on? Am I just annoying? These are the questions I ask myself almost everyday because of it.

It's not just my best friend and her relationships that I third wheel with though. I find myself the odd one out with everyone of late and whenever I'm talking to someone, their other half will come along and I will be left fiddling with my thumbs. When you hang around the budding couple long enough, and it becomes official, you are then faced with the awkward conversation of "But nothing has changed. We really want to include you". Nothing has changed (pardon my french!) my arse. The games of tongue twister aren't new? Or the long, gazing looks the couple share are just old news? Nope nope nopetity nope.

 So, I've drawn up a survival kit for anyone else on the planet who may be as unfortunate as me to have landed the 'hey-I-am-a-third-wheel' sort of appearance:




Headphones are key. They're having a couple conversation? Headphones. They're kissing AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE? Headphones. They're somehow doing both of the latter but you're phone is out of charge so you have no music? Headphones! (As least you'll look less awkward!)




If you are lucky enough to not have lost your phone to the devil of a dead battery then you may proceed to use it as you may. Check the latest twitter updates, or instagram a selfie with the hashtag #rockinatthirdwheeling! Or just text a friend. Just look busy and try to find a distraction so that you won't collapse of boredom (although, this would mean you were no longer third wheeling as everyone rushes to your attention...)!




Keep the conversation flowing for as long as possible. If they're sharing jokes and you're sat there silently praying to the God you can't see, ask them their opinion on a topic that can spark conversation. Even ask about them as a couple, anything to get them talking and not swapping saliva right?!




If step 3 is hopeless, step away. Don't get too close as you don't know what to expect. As they smooch away, try step 1 and 2 from a considerable distance.




If you can take anything away from the experience then it's knowledge. I'm not saying gawk at them as they kiss or get too touchy feely BUT this couple will probably show you a lot about the DO's and DON'Ts of relationships. Use this to your advantage!

So, I hope the steps above help you to adjust a bit better to your "three's NOT a crowd" lifestyle. I know I'll be thinking of them next time!




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